dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
