fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
