I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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