I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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