Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
