Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
