all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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