so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
