dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
