I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
honey bunches of taint.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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