Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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