I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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