I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sorry about my life...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
