Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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