dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
