i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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