Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You have to summon your inner elephant
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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