I murdered the dance floor call the cops
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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