I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize