So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize