A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I see more hoeing in ur future
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