Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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