I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Non-Jews are for practice
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
