I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
