Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I puked a lego.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
