Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
