he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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