So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
