Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
