oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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