i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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