I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
