I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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