Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
