i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
