420 ftw
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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