Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
