I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize