they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
