At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
