So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
