the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
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