Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
