This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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