I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
