Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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