you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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