I CAN MOONWALK!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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