I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
