I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
