is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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