come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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