Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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