every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
