didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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