dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
