Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
