i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
