Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
